i found this on another site and i thought i would share it with the rest of you:
TOP TWELVE SIGNS THAT YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR (THE GIRL NEXT DOOR) IS A SAILOR SCOUT:
12: HER CATS ARE TALKING TO YOU…AND YOU AIN’T EVEN DRUNK OR STONED YET
11: HER HAIR IS SO LONG THAT WHILE YOU WERE TRIMMING THE HEDGES, YOU ACCIDENTALLY
CUT OFF HER MILE LONG PIG TAILS.
10: MOST OF YOUR NEIGHBORS TAKE AN EARLY MORNING JOG…..WHEN EVER SHE TAKES AN EARLY MORNING RUN…IT’S USUALLY FOLLOWED BY A GIGANTIC MONSTER CHASING AFTER HER
9: MOST NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS BREAK YOUR WINDOW BY HITTING A BASEBALL THROUGH IT…YOUR WINDOWS AND HOUSE GET BOMBARDED WITH FIREBALLS!
8: SHE INSISTS SHE’S STILL A VIRGIN. YET WANTS YOU TO BABYSIT HER BRATTY 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM THE FUTURE
7: WHEN DISCUSSING POLITICS SHE RUNS OFF: “THOSE BASTARDS AT NASA DEMOTED MY FRIEND PLUTO DOWN TO A DWARF PLANET…..DISCRIMINATION!!!”
6: MIRRORS BREAK FREQUENTLY DUE TO HER HIGH PITCHED SCREAMS!!! (AUDIO)
5: YOU KEEP TRYING TO ASK EITHER HER OR HER HOT ATTRACTIVE GIRLFRIENDS OUT, BUT SHE INSISTS YOU DATE HER MORE DORKIER FRIEND “MOLLY”
4: DURING THE NEIGHBORHOOD YARD SALE SHE’S GETTING RID OF HER OLD JUNK, AND BY OLD JUNK I MEAN “GOLDEN SEPTORS, RED RUBY’S AND ETERNAL MILLENIUM CRYSTALS”
3: SOME PEOPLE WAKE UP IN THE MORNING TO THEIR FRONT LAWN BEING LITTERED WITH
TOILET PAPER…YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING TO THE CARCUS OF A DEAD TENTACLE MONSTER
ON YOUR FRONT LAWN!
2: AT 3 IN THE MORNING YOU ARE AWAKENED BY A MYSTERIOUS MAN IN A MASK, TOP HAT, AND NOTHING ELSE SAYING, “HEY BABY…I’VE MISSED YOU SO BADLY……..” YOU TURN ON THE LIGHTS HE SAYS, “HOLY SHIT! OH $%#@ I’M SOOOO SORRY!
I’M IN THE WRONG HOUSE!”
AND THE NUMBER 1 SIGN THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR THE GIRL NEXT DOOR IS A SAILOR SCOUT
1: SOME PERVS LIKE TO STARE AT THE GIRL NEXT DOOR CHANGING CLOTHES THROUGH THE WINDOW…YOUR GIRL NEXT DOOR SAYS IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE, “YOU DON’T MIND IF I CHANGE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW DO YA?”